Happy first month to me officially moving to South Korea.
“Nothing lasts forever.”
Not the good, nor the bad, and I absolutely know that.
And so the most beautiful thing, is being awake and alive enough to know that although I don’t know how long it’ll last, I know very well, with all my being, that in this very moment, I am not short of anything.
You may heal from pain, you may make it out of dark days, but the memory of the suffering and pain will always remain.
And to make it to a day, where it is something you remember, because you consecutively wake up every morning, no longer praying to be free, but in disbelief at just how happy you are; how blessed, how fortunate, and how incredible life is at the moment.
Right now, in this moment, I am not short of anything.
I am not short of healing. Still healing, but faithful in knowing I am putting my pieces together beautifully even if I don’t yet know the full picture.
I am not short of all the lessons I need. Still learning, learning that in the presence of every person who discomforts or hurts me, is a teacher to be seen. To nurture where I fall short; to encourage where I excel. When I need to say “I’m sorry,” or “Help me, I am hurt.” To reflect the way I love; to display the depth I love; to test my ability to love, even if it means letting the ones I love go. And letting them go with love; letting them find happiness with others, letting them receive the love I once gave. To love them selflessly.
I am not short of happiness for others. I am not short of the butterflies I feel when I see someone succeed, succeed in the success that was meant for them. The butterflies when someone who has been utterly shattered, meets the perfect love they’ve always deserved. When childhood friends, find the people who fit the new versions of them better. When hard workers have finally reached the acknowledgement they deserve, or when lost souls have finally found their footing. When people who have hurt you, have found peace.
I am not short of love. Love from my family who cheer at my every milestone, who always keep me grounded but free; reminding me that home will always be there as I greet the world. Love from an amazing partner, who challenges all my shortcomings to grow, lifts all my strengths to strive, and never falls short of being my number one companion even being seas apart. Friends who are growing as I grow, rooting for each other side by side. A workplace of beaming love and adoration for me; the tough days that are rewarded with warm feelings.
I am absolutely not short of anything. There is nothing more I could ask of. There are not answers I am constantly seeking, nor a status, a definite point or place I am trying to reach. There is no longer a race I am trying to run. And for the first time in life, I have all the time in the world, to just let things come to me, as they are meant to be.
Maybe this is happiness, and maybe happiness is letting go, and trusting that all will follow.
“What is meant for you will never miss you, what missed you, was never meant for you. Everything happens for a reason.”