When other boys are out here breaking my heart, I wish you’d be the man to save me.
I wish you were the one who knew me best, and I wish you were the one who would do anything to keep me safe. I wish you were the one who knew my every pain, and I wish you were the one who dried my tears instead of creating them.
I can save myself, absolutely. And I am no victim, absolutely. Life is unfair, and nothing will always go your way, understood.
But as I can’t write out your name,
You are supposed to be different.
You are supposed to be the superman to the little me.
But why like the boy who trashed my heart,
Do you ignore me too?
Why does your face look like you could care less, and why does your face look like I’m ridiculous, and why do your words take to offense, and why do you absolutely withdraw when I am trying to tell you: I’m Hurt.
Why like the boy who broke me, are you like this too?
And perhaps I found my way to him because he replicated you.
Why do you not feel when I cry, and why do you not flinch when I feel like I could die?
Why you of all people?
And why you, do you let the people who love you, carry your inflictions along with the weight of life alone?
Why do you only stay for the good times and abandon me when I feel most alone?
If you gave me one less heartbreak, maybe I’d easily make it through.
And if you gave me one less heartbreak, I’d have more faith too.
Why do you, like the weak coward who only hurt me, continuously say sorry for the things you are not sorry to do, until sorry is just the silence you expect me to already excuse.
And why like that boy, can I not leave you too?
There is nothing you can do to hurt the person who hurts you. Because in the game of hurting, the one who loves more will always lose.
So what do I do?
I wake with a smile on, even on the days I don’t want to because any other face would only distance you.
But I am so tired.
And the last thing I want is,
To hate you too.