How do you let the old promises know you’re outgrowing? Or more so, that you’re just a little bit terrified in the midst of calmly watching the growth.
The shift where pieces don’t fit anymore.
And then some days it doesn’t look so much like growth but maybe a little bit like retracting.
Are we afraid? Afraid to be hurt? Afraid of attachments of hopes and broken promises? So we no longer give so that we don’t get used to receiving?
We stop loving so we won’t be loved.
Is the mind that has coexisting awarenesses.
I know but I can’t do. I want you to know but I can’t say. I’m sorry but I can’t stop. I’m lost but I know my way. I’m tired but so driven. I’m lonely but I’m independent.
So we just let go. Because we don’t need things to stay. Because having nothing is less scary than having something to lose.
And then when you know everyone is doing the same.
How we are all running our own mazes in glass boxes next to each other, trying to force ourselves to get used to the pain, the pain of being so afraid of being alone, so that we one day won’t feel it anymore. All the while, running in the same spaces, with invisible walls between us. Because we are so afraid. Of the things that happen when we touch.
The pain of holding on and letting go. The pain of maintaining and fearing.
Everyone is stretching their growing pains. We are pushing them everyday, never reaching one another because we can never pass ourselves.
Is that what it is? Growing pains. Inevitable pains. A stage.