She needs time. She probably needs a lot of time. Time that she put on pause just in case she didn’t have to take it alone. But I think this time she knows.
She could just answer the texts and pick up the calls, and she wouldn’t be alone.
She could just say yes to the dinners and the hangouts, and she wouldn’t be alone.
She could just keep the arms that try to wrap around, and she wouldn’t look alone.
She could just take the hands that extend, and she wouldn’t feel alone.
But you and I, and she all know, she really needs this time.
She needs to hear her own good mornings and good nights. She needs to see her own face when she wakes up. She needs to hold her own hand when she sleeps. She needs to ask and hear where she wants to eat, where she wants to go, and what she wants to do today. She needs to know how she likes things; if she had fun, if she thought it was interesting, or what she liked better.
Someone said they know she likes to act strong all the time, but that it’s okay if she needs help sometimes too. That “you don’t always have to act this way.” Yeah, but I think she’s okay with not being okay right now. She’s okay with not being okay and not having you there. She’s okay with stumbling, scrapping her knee, and just standing up again. So many days she thought she wasn’t going to survive, and she did. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Having you there, might just remind her of who you are not. And reminding you of who you are not, will make you think you are not enough.
No one deserves that.
This girl just needs a lot of time, a lot of space, and a lot of just going her way.
Definitely don’t follow her. Do not try to hold onto her. She will probably run farther.
I hope she takes all the time she needs, all the space she can reach, and all the strength and beauty she is holding within, just waiting to be seen.
The best I can do, is hold the door for her.