You have a dark, twisted way of loving people. Of keeping them alive in the sickest corridors of your heart and mind, but killing them in person. Over and over, because “sorry” will make it a bit better as you do it.
Even though your body has already forgotten me long ago, I know in the darkest of times, you will think of me; you will remember.
So I ask of you:
Don’t think of me. Don’t remember me.
Don’t tell people stories of me; don’t tell them you even knew me.
I don’t want people to think of you when they see me, and I surely don’t want them to think of me when they see you. I don’t want them to ever know that our names were once said in one sentence. That gifts were once addressed to the both of us, together.
Don’t ever say my name, please don’t. Don’t say it.
Don’t call me your best friend. And don’t love me from afar and keep a place for me in your heart. I don’t need any of that.
Don’t be proud of me. Don’t root for me.
Throw all the things of us away. Burn them. Bury them. Let them be gone from this world just like us.
See the objects that you wish to keep as mere objects just as you do people. Don’t let them remind you of me.
See the places we’ve loved as just places. Places of air, trees, things, and people. Not the memories we’ve blindly made.
Release that imaginary guilt you feel. Don’t let it harm another person. A guilt that shows no remorse, that only grows in hurt and not repentance and love.
Don’t check up on me to see if I’m alive. And if I leave this world before you, don’t worry about showing up to say goodbye. Goodbye already happened long ago.
Lastly, don’t acknowledge me. If you see me, walk on as if you never knew me, as if we never met, just like it should’ve and would have been. If our eyes meet, let them meet and naturally part away, just as strangers would.
Let us reset our lives to a time before us, with the knowledge we’ve gained after us.
Let us release the ghosts of one another that used to be.
Let us never repeat such a tragic history. Let us never make such memories. Let us never find one another again. Let us part for good in this lifetime and the lifetimes to come.